A Trace Of Lingerie.com

A Man?s Guide To The Embarrassment Of
Buying Lingerie

Lets face it, we men are obsessed with
women?s bodies and yet if I needed to
tell someone the size of her breasts the
best I could probably muster would be
?just about right? and if she were to
ask me right now what her dress size was
I would probably mutter that it didn?t
make her bum look big at all. This is in
part due to my ever-present attempt to
gain brownie points and not spend the
night sleeping in the kitchen with the
dog, but it is in one big part due to my
ignorance. Ask her what size my waist is
and she could tell you without a
second?s hesitation. It really isn?t
that difficult to find out this
information either and the list of
instructions on how to find out would
consist solely of:

1 ? Open cupboard door.

2 ? Remove appropriate garment.

3 ? Check label and make mental note of
size.

Even my brain could cope with that first
thing in the morning but despite telling
myself I should do it I never actually
remember to. This could partially be
because there is something instilled in
the back of my brain that tells me the
second I remove her bra and start
ferreting around inside it, her mother
is bound to burst down the front door
unannounced and catch me in the act of
apparently sniffing, or worse still
putting on, her beloved daughter?s bra.
This really isn?t a situation I want to
find myself in but if I want to please
her (my partner, not her mother) then I
should do it. In fact, every man should
do it. Go to your wife or girlfriend?s
closet and find out her bra size. Write
it on a piece of paper and secrete it in
your wallet if necessary.

Of course, even once I know the size of
her bra that doesn?t make the actual
selection any easier. As a general rule
of thumb, I?m led to believe that a
black latex nurse?s outfit is not
considered to be either lingerie or
indeed comfortable so I will try to
steer clear of that as far as possible,
no matter how appealing they look. I
will try my utmost to ensure that
whatever I buy will not only please me
but will make my partner feel sexy as
well. This should imply that she will be
able to move comfortably and bits don?t
poke out when she lifts an arm or tries
to sit down, or more importantly lie
down.

Visiting any shop that has lingerie in
is bound to be a big deal the first time
I try it but I?m a grown man and I
should be able to cope. The sales
assistant probably won?t think that the
stuff I buy is for me unless I say
something embarrassingly stupid and wear
fake breasts. In fact, there?s a very
good chance she?s dealt with people like
me, and people like you, on a fairly
regular basis. You know, the kind of
person who skulks around by the knickers
looking around shiftily and sweating a
lot. In fact, come to think of it, it?s
probably best if I don?t do that, and
just head straight over to her instead.
She will probably be very helpful.

I saw a sign in a lingerie shop that I
passed three times the other day and it
said they would gift wrap the item. I
decided there and then that if I ever
built up the courage to go in the shop
and actually buy any lingerie, instead
of keep walking past it, I would
definitely take advantage of that offer.
I think being confronted by me carrying
a Christmas cracker wrapped present and
a proud smile like your son or daughter
gets the first time they pee on their
own would probably detract from the
overall romanticism of the gesture.
Besides, I wouldn?t have to carry it
home in a way that meant others might be
able to see what I?d bought.

I can?t wait to finally see her wearing
the new lingerie I buy. I guess the only
thing that?s left to do now is actually
find out her size and go and buy
something appropriate, that is not a
latex nurse?s outfit.

Lets face it, we men are obsessed with women?s bodies and
yet if I needed to tell someone the size of her breasts the
best I could probably muster would be ?just about right? and
if she were to ask me right now what her dress size was I
would probably mutter that it didn?t make her bum look big
at all. This is in part due to my ever-present attempt to
gain brownie points and not spend the night sleeping in the
kitchen with the dog, but it is in one big part due to my
ignoranc...

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